What is Success?

My second year has come to a close.  I have been thinking and evaluating the year a lot the last few weeks.  For much of the year, I felt that this year was a "sophomore slump."  I had to work harder to not get as deep in my classes, my speech team moved up two divisions and faced much stiffer competition, and building relationships was much more difficult and took longer.  As the year ended, I began to realize something:

Success is defined in many different ways.

Success in Content

True, it was harder teaching the students US History this year.  Last year I had self-motivated Honors students.  This year, I had to serve as their motivation in many cases.  And teaching US History to High School Juniors in Texas means the STAAR End of Course Exam.  I spent much of the year feeling the pressure to get these students to pass this test because they do not get to graduate until it is passed.  So, I found myself giving in to the temptation to engage in some teaching methods that I felt bordered on learning the test instead of loving the content.  It is a struggle I am sure many teachers face.

If the scores reflect that my students did well, that is a success for them- but is it for me?  My number one goal as a History teacher is that my students find at least one thing to love about history.  I am passionate about history and I want that passion to spread.  When I give in to focusing on the test, my passion wanes because the time it takes to develop passion is given to time spent figuring out what the test might ask.  And if my passion wanes, the students will- at the very least- lose interest.  They will not love history like I do.  The number of students I had last year that told me how much they loved this or that about history when they never liked history before tells me that my approach based on sharing my passion for the content- not my concern over the test- works.  

I wish I felt more successful in my content- but maybe time will reveal a surprise. Perhaps success here is finding that common ground between preparing for the test and sharing a passion for the material- I plan to work on finding it.

A student is successful if they score well on their End of Course Exams because they get to graduate and maybe get an "Advanced" score.  But for me success is a student coming back and saying, "Man, I really love _______ about history!  I never cared/thought about it like that until your class!"

Success in Competition

This is probably the most difficult to measure, because we assume success is more points on the scoreboard.  Our school jumped from a 3A designation to a 5A designation this year.  Sports, Academic UIL, FFA and other Career Tech groups all encountered new levels of difficult competition.  And we all found varying levels of success.  My high school, in its three years of existence, has been remarkably successful by the win/loss standard.

But is that true success?

Just winning is not success, I say.  I feel that a component of success is character.  A team that wins, but is smug, arrogant, dismissive of opponents, and just all around jerks may be victorious, but they are not successful.  But a team that loses, shoulders the disappointment with humility and determinedly works to not lose again is successful

I am proud to say that my school is most definitely successful, by my definition.  Our faculty is actively cultivating these characteristics.  We are courteous to our opponents, and our students behave with character and integrity.  Every school has a few moments of falling short in those areas, and we are no different.  But modeled from the top leadership down, there is an attitude of admitting mistakes and atoning for them.  The Prose and Poetry coach that works with my Speech team and I are very intentional about teaching our younger teammates how to win well, and how to lose well.  It is not always easy, but we must demonstrate humility in victory and defeat.  

Victory must have integrity to be a success.

I want teams that face us to walk away hating that they lost, but respecting the manner in which they lost.  And I want the teams that defeat us to respect the grace and maturity we show in the loss.  This is success in competition.

Success in Relationships

Honors students trusted me pretty quickly last year.  We were able to ask tougher questions faster, dig deeper into discussions sooner.  This year, my on-level classes were MUCH slower to warm up.  And when they did, it was difficult for me to tell because their trust was much less overt and easy to see.

I speak to my students, and treat them, like they are adults.  My simple rule is that I will respect you.  No conditions, no qualifiers, no prerequisites.  I also promise to trust you, until that trust is broken, then it must be earned back.  Well into the second semester, I still could not tell if they trusted or even liked me.  I felt I was not making that connection, and I doubted myself.

I strongly believe that to get students to do the hard thing, they need to care about the teacher who is leading them.  You can give them difficult problems, increase the rigor, but without relationship, I just do not see success happening.  Why was I not connecting?

Now, at the end of the year, I received letters from seniors who chose to write me as a teacher that had an impact.  My students from last year wrote about the way I connected them to the material and how I made a difference in their life.  My classes this year had a handful of Seniors (US History is a Junior level course here), and to my surprise, I received letters from some of them.

One student told of how they almost quit, but because I wouldn't give up on them, they decided not to give up on themselves.  They were walking the stage at graduation because another teacher and I would not let them give up.  They sent me that email the morning of graduation.

I looked back and I realized that these students trusted me long before I could see it.  They were not expressing it because many of them are just more guarded.  They do not trust authority figures easily.  I remembered that there were students I would discipline, and yet the next day, they were not bearing a grudge, they were even laughing with and being friendly.  What had I done that made this possible?

I think it went back to the second week of school.  Everyone did poorly on the first test.  Instead of scolding them for not taking the test seriously, I asked them, "What can I do better as your teacher?"  I got good, solid, workable answers, and applied them- manner of delivery, ways to review better, etc.

That may have made more of difference than I initially thought.  I gave them ownership in the class.  I forgave them as quickly as they fell into wrong behaviors.  I made my room a safe place.  Oh, there were still discipline issues, but I pointed out that the issues were not about disrespecting me- that I can deal with- it was about disrespecting their peers.

Relationships matter.  And successful ones are built on trust and respect.

What is Success?

I am still a new teacher.  I am still learning and do not have all the answers.  I simply notice what works and what does not.  Each year is, in a way, an experiment in how best to educate students in curriculum and guide them in life.  

Some students I fail.  They don't get the attention they need, or I cannot find the best method to reach them.

It haunts me.

Some students get the good grades and pass the right tests, but I fail to make the impression on them that actually helps them in life.  I fail to impart integrity and character.

It haunts me.

Some students get the grades and pass the tests, and mature and grow far beyond the requirements of the course.  They are students that will walk back to my room next year to chat.  They are students who will hound me to follow them back on Twitter the day they graduate.  They are young adults who will send me an email or ask to get together for coffee when they are in college. They will ask me advice on classes and life.  They will tell me that something I did connected with them, and they want to be for others what I was for them.

These sustain me.

What is success?  For me, it is having more students in that last category, while diligently striving to decrease the numbers in the other two categories- perhaps with help from other students in that last group.

What is success?  It is measured not in GPA's and Commended's and Honor graduate stoles, but in students who view the world and the subject matter I shared with them with a little more clarity and the knowledge that at least there is one more adult out there that cares for them.

What is success for you?

Moments

I had the honor and pleasure of getting to address our Senior class of 2015 at Senior Sunset, our new tradition of recognizing our seniors the night before graduation.  The following is basically what I said, and maybe a little more I should add looking back.  Some of this is very specific to our school with it's first ever graduating class, but it is information I feel is good for all seniors.

Our life is made of moments.

Looking back, we all have moments we remember- first day of kindergarten, first day of middle school, first time we tried out for school sports/band/theater, first dates, etc.  We think of these moments and smile, we remember the impact they had on us.

The College Station High School Class of 2015, there are some pretty unique memories you may have.  The first time you stepped through those doors and OPENED College Station High School.  The first time you put on that CSHS uniform and practiced as a Cougar Athlete/Band Member/Team member.  Your first competition.  The first time you sat in a class and realized how important that teacher was not just to your education, but to you personally.  We've got a lot of great teachers here who truly care about you.  The first time you succeeded in a class when you didn't think you could.

There are other moments that CSHS has now become known for.  The moment you experienced victory on the field, the court, the stage, or the classroom.  Triumphs over rivals.  Reaching deep into the playoffs.  Getting to State.  Winning State.  These moments are moments that have defined CSHS.

But this is a moment now.  You are all gathered here together at your Senior Sunset.  What comes now?  Tonight the sun sets on you as a high school student for the last time.  Tomorrow when it sets, you will be a graduate.

Those of you who had me in class know how much I love Theodore Roosevelt.  It wouldn't be a Lehrmann moment if I didn't mention him at least once.  This quote is the first of two from him:

"Be practical as well as generous in your ideas.  Keep your eyes on the stars but remember to keep your feet on the ground.

Courage, hard work, self mastery, and intelligent effort are all essential to successful to life.

Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and the nations alike."

Character and integrity.  Two qualities that are taught to and expected of you as CSHS Cougars.  Wherever you go from here- Texas A&M, University of Texas, BYU, NYU, the military, the workforce or any number of other possible destination- carry those qualities with you. 

 There are many moments to come when you will get to display these qualities again.  Meeting your first college roommate- which could go well or poorly for you.  Sitting in your first college class.  in four years- or more likely these days six or seven- you will walk across another stage (or the same stage for some of you) and get another diploma.  The first time you meet that special someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.  Becoming a parent.  Starting your career and that moment you realize you are GOOD at what you do and want to do it for the rest of your life.

These moments are coming.  And in them, you will have a choice.  At College Station High School, you have consistently made the right choice.  I believe you will continue in that pattern.  But you will have the chance to choose, in your moments to come, the good thing or the great thing.  College Station High School has seen you choose the great thing, to excel time and again.  Continue in that choice.  Choose to make a difference in your world.  I believe you can.

As I close, I have just one more Theodore Roosevelt quote:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. "

Class of 2015:  Dare greatly.  Dare greatly.

Dream Analysis: Helping Students Appreciate Their Dream Over a Fantasy

It is graduation season, and thousands of students who are absolutely CERTAIN that their dreams are going to become a reality are about to embark on a journey of disappointment.

I know, because 17 years ago, I was one of them.

Many students have dreams.  They are good dreams, but often not attainable.  (See every season of American Idol ever.)

But these are just a few of those whose dreams will not come true.

Those thousands I talked of are the students who are going to be doctors, lawyers, scientists, entertainers, athletes- and then one little thing goes wrong.  Some students have dreams that just will not come true, and they have to learn to deal with that in their own way and own time- whether an injury ends their career or the talent just isn't what they thought it would be.

And most students believe their dream has died.

But what if it hasn't?

I believe as educators, we might be able to see something that the student themselves cannot see.  That their dream is not the career they want, but the thing that career would allow them to do.

Confused?  Well, dreams can be confusing, so let me explain with my own story.

My Story

As a high school junior, I wanted to be a lawyer/politician.  I wanted to win court cases for the innocent and downtrodden or hold office and make the world a better place.  Inexplicably, my dream changed my senior year to be a psychiatrist.  I think it had to do with everyone telling me I was too honest to be a lawyer.  But the psychiatrist thing would allow me to help people, and make a lot of money.  (Remember, I'm a high school senior at that point and I do not understand anything about the world.)

I started Texas A&M with a Psych major on the pre-med track.  I sat in that meeting where you were asked to look to your left and right and realize one of them wouldn't be there in a year.  I took special note of my two neighbors, because they were the ones leaving.

Then I failed Biology.

OK, well, I didn't fail it- I dropped it with a 46 average.  Bye, bye med school.

But I could still be a psychologist.  It would mean I could counsel and aid people. It would mean getting a Ph.D, but hey, whatever.

My sophomore year, my dad died.  He had retired from the Highway Department as a Chief Accountant and taken a job as an aide in an Emotionally Disturbed (now Adaptive Behavior) class at my old Junior High to have something to do.  What he did was make a difference with kids others struggled with for 4 years.  Then he died.

I wanted to help people like my dad had.  So, I went into the ministry instead of counseling.  I did this for over ten years.  Then I burned out.  I had wanted to make a difference with people, I had dreams of starting a church for college students (which I got to do) and being a big-time speaker (which I did not get to do), all of which had me making a difference.  There were a lot of factors- not the least of which was working a day job as a tax collector which sucked my soul out- that lead to this burn-out.

But at the heart was that I felt I no longer was making a difference in people's lives.

I got laid off from the tax collection job, and took to subbing in schools.  Then I got an aide job.  Then I got my current job, teaching high school social studies and coaching speech.

Then I realized my dream had come true.  Not the fantasy of money and fame- no the DREAM of having a chance to make a difference in people's lives.

Dream vs. Fantasy
Most of us confuse dreams and fantasies.  Fantasies are the sugar-coated versions of dreams.  It is the wealth, fame, honor, and recognition that a few people get along with their dream.  My high school is seeing some students moving towards their fantasy- scholarships to D1 schools for sports, scholarships for fine arts at prestigious universities.  But the vast majority of students will not experience fantasies.  They will not make the pros, star in movies, be the face of a major medical endeavor, or walk on Mars.  Winning American Idol is not a dream, it is a fantasy and very few get to live it out.

But that does not mean the rest of the people see their dream die.

See, under that thick layer of fantasy icing, a dream still dwells.  A dream is achievable for most, if not all students.  We just have to help students- and ourselves- see that the dream is closer to reality than we think.

Fantasies can be taken away from us- but dreams are in our souls. 

Finding the Dream
In my story, my fantasy was a prestigious job and maybe some fame and money.  But my dream was simpler, attainable.  My dream- through the lawyer phase, psychiatrist phase, ministry phase and now teacher phase has always been the same:

To make a difference in people's lives.

The dream was the heartbeat of the fantasy, not the other way around.  A baseball players fantasy is to play for the Yankees or Rangers or Cardinals- but their dream is to be a part of America's pastime.  An entertainer's fantasy is to see their name in lights, fill stadiums or theaters- but their dream is to make people feel, to connect with an audience.  A doctor's fantasy is to cure cancer or AIDS-their dream is to save a life.

Our students will tell you their fantasy when we ask what their dreams are.  And we will play the realist and try to help them see that only a rare few get Oscars, Grammys, MLB MVP's, or Rookies of the Year.

And we will miss their dream, and crush their spirit.

So, when a student tells you their fantasy, look for the dream.  The fantasy is the accolades they receive for fulfilling the dream.  The dream is what they want to do.

Make a difference.  Be a part of their sport.  Connect with people, Heal.  Save lives. Make someone laugh.  Give someone comfort.  Work with kids/animals/the earth.  Grow something that feeds people.  Build something that makes life easier.  Have a family.  Raise strong, well adjusted kids.

Dreams can be achieved.  They need to be.  When a fantasy becomes impossible, we must help the dreamer see that that does not mean the dream is over.  It just means the fluff is gone, and the real good stuff is still waiting to be explored.

Dream.  Because even if your fantasy never comes true, it is your dream that will give you purpose and focus.  It will give you life.

I have finally realized that my dream is more than the job I do- it is the manner in which I want to live my life. May that be your dream as well. 

Live.