Relationship Rubric: Fostering Student-Teacher Bonds

This is part 1 in a series of discussions on relationships in and out of the classroom.  Part 2 will cover Student-Student relationships, and Part 3 will look at Teacher-Teacher relationships.

A couple weeks back, my sociology class was discussing education in America today, and specifically, the importance of the relationship between students and their teachers.  When asked how many of them had experienced a negative relationship with a teacher, more than half of the students raised their hands.  Now, some of that is because some students think the natural enemy of students are teachers- they are going to find fault because it is what cynical, angsty teens do.  But students related experiences where teachers didn't keep their word, or didn't forgive, or "didn't care." I made sure that the students kept their talk anonymous- no names of these teachers, but the students related specific examples of how they had felt hurt by teachers.

Fearing that this would let students turn the session into a roast, I turned the talk to what makes the perfect teacher.  Students quickly filled the board with these phrases:

I then took it one step further and had students write little notes to the teachers who had been something like this to them in their time in high school.  The discussion about what makes a good teacher was truly fruitful for me- and the students.  Watching their faces light up as they talked about teachers who had made a difference- not anonymous this time- showed me how much the bond between students and teachers really does matter.

So, I wanted to look at a few of the "Perfect Teacher" attributes, and relate them to a Relationship Rubric for us teachers.

Interactive

A big complaint was teachers who talk AT students.  Now, I am not a lecture-basher.  I think lecture has a place in a classroom, if for no other reason than getting them used to college where it is the primary form of instruction.  But students want to share their voice and know they have been heard.  They want to get up and move around, they want to use their hands, and they want to be interactive WITH the teacher.  They want to know about the teacher, so don't be a total mystery.  Be human.  Tell stories about you to connect you to the lesson and then, by extension, the students.  Laugh with them, build time, even just a little bit, to get to know more than their name.  Pay attention to their interests, and ask them about them.  BE AVAILABLE.

Understanding

Last night, my wife's car battery died. I galantly run to her rescue, go to hook up the cables and realize I can't find the battery on my car. Jumped cars numerous times, but no clue where the thing is. And my wife's co-workers (she's a teacher,too) were all around and had to use their car because they could find their battery. I felt like a failure. 

You ever had a bad day?  Ever struggled with learning in front of your peers?  Some students experience that 6-7 times a day!

Try to remember that students have tough things, too. That silly relationship that they are having issues in is not so silly to them. Give space, then give a non-judging ear. 

Helps you grow/challenges you

A lot of teachers hear that phrase "challenge" and go to rigorous tests. For my students, almost universally, "challenge" meant the way they think. The way they approach problems on a worksheet and in life.  Personally, if I've got a classroom of students who pass my class and still think the way they did before they entered, then I've failed. I don't challenge their worldview and approach to learning with a test, I do it with a question, a smile, and another question from an angle they didn't expect. Then close with a smile. 

Takes time to explain/patient

You didn't always know what you know. You were not always the expert in the room.  Sometimes, in making the effort to go over the same concept for the tenth time that day, the student gets it. And while you will go home and whine about how long it took for the student to get it, the student will go home believing someone cares. 

Caring/Encouraging

I teach electives, so I don't have a lot of students come in for tutorials. Yet I often have students come in to talk or study or ask for advice. My door is one that is open, and I often get students who want to talk about things they don't feel they can talk to other adults about. If you've taught for very long, you have this too. Why?  Because at some point you've shown you care, and you've made yourself available. 

Students sometimes need someone to talk to. Sometimes it's about school, career, college, or relationships. But it always matters to them. Let them know it matters to you, too. 

The Payoff

When I did that lesson, and asked about "perfect teachers," I heard a couple students not so quietly say, "Just put Lehrmann up there."  In humility, I ignored it. But I kept that one for the rough days. I'm not perfect, and they know that. But what I think they implied was that I was a teacher who cared about the relationship I had with my students. I want to be the kind of teacher that students will someday tell their kids, "I hope you have a Lehrmann for a teacher. He was fun, and he asked tough questions, but he was great because he wanted to connect with his students beyond the content. He made me think about life by sharing his, and I'm better for it."

Relationship Rubric: Fostering Student-Student Bonds

This is part 2 in a series of discussions on relationships in and out of the classroom.  Part 1 covered Teacher-Student relationships, and Part 3 will look at Teacher-Teacher relationships.

If the teacher-student relationship is one of the most important relationships in education, right up there with it is the student-student relationship.  Good student relationships can be extremely beneficial in young person's education, but bad relationships can undo any good accomplishments.

Today, I want to look at three relationships between students that we observe, defend against, or hope to create:  The Partners, The Hobblers, and The Coaches.

The Partners
My family has recently been watching old episodes of Boy Meets World.  The main character, Cory, and his best friend Shawn are perpetual partners in group assignments.  Its a recurring gag that the two boisterously choose each other as soon as the teacher mentions the word "partner."

We have our Corys and Shawns in our classes.  And we need to watch them closely, because they can be forces for good, or for evil.  Cory and Shawn on the show get in trouble, but they also stumble into learning some pretty deep lessons.  The thing about the Partners in our classes is that they are often equally yoked- they are at the same basic level of understanding, and their interest and effort hang out at the same height or depth.

As teachers, we can put a gentle breeze in their sales, or we can take the wind from them.  Partners exist in a sort of equilibrium- if one rises, the other rises.  If one falters, well...

We have a unique opportunity with Partners- to educate two students with one effort.  If we can reach one, we have a connection to both. But to lose one is to lose both.  The truth is, Partners are stronger together.  As teachers, we just need to help channel their strength toward positive efforts.  If they misbehave, it is unwise to try to turn one against the other.  Instead, we must try to refocus BOTH of their energies on the right path. If we can't, then the Partners become the Hobblers.

The Hobblers
Some relationships are just anchors dragging us down to the depths.  When Partners go negative, no desire for improvement is present, then you have Hobblers.

Hobblers are Partners that have given in to mutually assured destruction.  We can see it when a student is clearly being negatively influenced by a friend- and our instinct is to try to separate them.  But what happens?  They unite against us.  So, how do we deal with Hobblers?

The only way for this relationship to be repaired is for one to realize that the other is toxic to their education, and to their life in general.  Because teachers can see this so clearly, we think it is an easy fix- just walk away.

But relationships are never that simple.

We must take care, be patient, and try our best to demonstrate our care and concern for EACH student INDIVIDUALLY.  Not actively trying to separate them, but consciously praising the individual effort of each one.  Hobblers believe they need each other to basically survive.  If we can show them they have success on their own, we can loosen the hold Hobblers have on each other.  Pointing our how bad they are for each other is actually counterproductive- so we patiently seek the opportunities to see the individual- then point it out.

The Coaches
Both previous groups are equally yoked.  This group is about one student who takes another on.  We see it often in peer tutoring, but I believe it is vital in the classroom in general.  If you have a class that has varying age ranges, please realize this is a blessing, not a curse.  Utilize your more mature students to work with you to engage the class.  Purposely seat a Coaching student near those who could benefit from their knowledge and behavior.

Now, this is very important:  No matter how great we think a student would be as a Coach in the class, if the student does not want to take on that responsibility, NEVER force it on them.  Sometimes, a Coaching student needs to know you trust them and have their back (see, teacher-student relations are vital here, too).  Sometimes, a Coaching student has never had a teacher entrust them with such an important role.  Sometimes, a Coaching student doesn't want to be seen as a teacher's pet.  These are real concerns, and just like Partners and Hobblers, Coaches can require patience on our part as we help to mold and prepare them to be leaders.

I cannot stress the importance of Coaches enough.  They can act as very important "translators" in our classes.  They can take "teacher talk" and interpret it into "student speak."  Their perspective is closer to their peers, and often have a more connected wording than our carefully crafted lessons ever could.  Aside from the benefits for the students they coach, there is a benefit for the Coaches themselves.  As they try to interpret for us, they wrestle with the content in new ways, developing their own sort of rigor as they do.  And when students learn that your classroom is one where students can lead- the benefits multiply.

The Rubric
The simple math here is this:  Positive relationships between students = benefits for each other.  Positive student relationships multiplied by positive teacher-student interactions = benefits for the class as a whole.  Our goal as teachers should be a classroom that feels safe to learn, and safe to take risks in learning.  In order to get there, we have to develop these relationships.  Actively, yet with care, concern and patience.

Classroom Coaching- It's All Relational

The following is an altered (read: longer) version of a blog I did for our campus Instructional Coaches' blog. 

Why coaching in the classroom?

As a part of our District's Teacher Leader Academy, three other teachers on my campus and I were asked to help answer that question at the start of this semester.  We believe it is all about perspective- getting to see our classroom through the eyes of another teacher and even through the digital eye of the SWIVL.  We have heard some great stories of classroom activities and lessons that have been observed, and amazing conversations that have begun as a result of your time in your colleague's class.

Now, as we are wrapping up our post-observation conferences, we'd like to revisit the question of "Why coaching in the classroom?"

And the conversations we have heard about have brought about an interesting additional reason for this campus-wide endeavor:  relationships.

We talk about how vital relationships are to our students- it is one of our 3R's, after all ( the others being Rigor and Relevance) so why shouldn't it also be vital to our campus coaching model?  If the long-term goal is for us all to be comfortable with other teachers in our rooms or observing video of our classes so we can share insight, corrections, and, yes, much needed "atta-boys;" then we should definitely use this opportunity to build relationships.  

So how do we build those relationships? We all have packed schedules and busy lives on and off campus. That's where the small things we do can make a difference. Short but meaningful hallway talks, little notes of encouragement, engaging in Twitter Chats and the list goes on. But I think the MOST important thing we can do is encourage. 

It is great when we tell our colleagues "Good Job!"  I love hearing that. But our teacher leaders, our department heads in particular, have an awesome opportunity to give meaningful, powerful encouragement. Don't be afraid of being accused of having favorites- LOOK for specific positives you can encourage your teachers with. IT MATTERS!

But coaching isn't all "Hoorays!"

When someone we are close to offers a critique, it will still sting a bit.  But we understand it to be said for our benefit because we know they care.  When someone we do not have a relationship with offers a critique, we feel judged.  The first example is how coaching should be.  And while coaching implies a closeness, judgment is from a distance.  no one wants judgment, right?

Here are two quotes from Coach John Wooden that I think will clarify what I'm trying to say:

  “A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.” 

If we resent what we are being told to do, we will not listen.  So, how can we, as the coach, make sure that what we say is giving "correction without causing resentment?"  Quote two:

“Seek opportunities to show you care. The smallest gestures often make the biggest difference.” 

Coach Wooden has always come across as the kind of coach who expected the best from his players, and got it by building strong positive relationships with his players.  He seems to understand that coaching requires a connection with the coached that goes beyond getting the fundamentals down and winning the game.  It is about developing an atmosphere on the team that is one of mutual respect and shared vision, all fostered by caring and concern for each others' success.

Why coaching in the classroom?

Coaching is important because "Pursuing Perfection, Achieving Excellence" is dependent on us working together.  Coaching in the classroom allows us to gain a new perspective, but that perspective is most effective when it comes from a place of strong relationship.  As a campus, our desire is to "Have Success, Because of Each Other." (Quote courtesy of Molly Sanders)

Our questions to you are these:

1) How important is it to you to know that your colleagues care about you?

2) How has another teacher helped you to find success because of this- or another- coaching opportunity? 

3) How can you show another teacher your care and concern for their success moving forward?

Mirror, Mirror: Why Self-Reflection Matters

I resolved at the beginning of the school year to post a weekly blog that reviews my classroom activities from the week before. The idea was to share with fellow educators for accountability, and to share with students for input. 

The good news is, nine weeks in and it's still getting posted!

The not-so-good news is that I've heard no feedback from educators or teachers. 

The great news is, I've realized that's really not the point, anyway. 

It's about my own reflections. My own critiques and praises of what I've tried, successes and failures. 

Format

I follow a simple format:  Good, Not-so-good, Bad, Grade, and Goals. Good addresses successes and addresses failures. The stuff that found me taking the easy road or failures I was aware of but students didn't see is on the not-so-good. Grade is determined by strength of good over depth of the other two, with an explanation of why I see it that way. Goals are things I want to do the next week. 

Evolution

When I started, I found myself talking about behind the scenes stuff- planning, scheduling, organization. But those are things that I'm aware of and actively work on anyway. So I shifted the focus to the types of lessons, and the instructional strategies I use. These are things students see and experience, and thus the things I most need to sharpen and evaluate. I've also made the observations shorter- less words on the page because I sort things out in my head. 

Why?

Sure, if you want to start reflection, you should start with "why" you need to do it. But as a speech teacher, I know the last thing you hear is what you most likely remember, so the most important thing goes last. 

Why reflect?  Because EVERYONE can get better. 

Our District, and my campus specifically is taking strong charge at coaching in the classroom because we want our teachers to develop reflection. Just like an athlete watches film to correct the small things that hinder success, teachers need to look at the small things that hinder learning- or keep the students from going a level deeper in their search for knowledge. 

I stumbled on this concept personally when a majority of my students failed a test last year. I tried to see what I did wrong- and I thought, "Why not ask the students what I could do better?"  

Apparently, this is not a normal teacher thought, because when I told others about it, I got looks of awe and lots of "Wow, that's brave"s.  

But I needed that reflection, to ask them and to ask myself the tough questions.

 I want to continue to strengthen my abilities. I need to evaluate what practices and strategies work. If you watch football, and a coach runs the same play three times and each time it fails- you yell at the TV that he's "an idiot because it didn't work the first two times, why would it a third?"

Yet how often do we do the same instructional strategies and lessons and get the same results/complaints?

They may not yell it, but you better believe your students are thinking what you yelled about that coach. 

The Mirror

Self-reflection and feedback from colleagues and students are the mirror we must continually look at to keep ourselves on track. So ask for feedback- "attaboys" and "have you thought about...." are equally important. But if you fear feedback from others, write your thoughts, fears and concerns down somewhere. Ask yourself those questions. A great one is "Would I like this if I was a student in this class?" 

Private reflection is still a great tool for teachers to sharpen their skills. Reflection with a trusted peer is better. When you feel you can, public reflection and freely asking for input is best. A fellow teacher of mine recently said "We get better because of each other."- Molly Sandrers. 

That's what reflection is all about. 

Student Reflections from Poverty Simulation

Some fellow teachers asked me to get some feedback on the Poverty Simulation.  Students wrote on Post-It notes then posted their responses on the wall.  I'll put pictures of some of them up here, then quote some others.  The following are some good ones I felt I should share.

Basic Observations:

"Through the simulation we learned how to manage money and how hard it is for families in poverty to come up with funds for everyday needs"


"Having to decide whether or whether not to get cell phone service, not having unlimited amounts of food to give."

"Most people in poverty have to give up things to save/help their family."

"I found it was hard to survive on only a few hundred dollars a month and especially with a big 'family.'"

"Adults have more responsibility than we think."

"It was challenging having to sacrifice certain things in order to keep our money and stay alive."

"We realize that we have to learn to be smart with money and it showed that it's hard to live off of minimum wage."

Digging a Little Deeper

Interesting possible adjustment- have slightly different levels of pay. 

There you go parents, no thanks necessary. :)

More variables (more sick kids, repairs, etc) would be an excellent adaptation if time allows.

Hopefully most students were able to realize how good they have it.  And those in poverty now know that their classmates have a small idea of what its like.

The "It Won't Improve Your Grade, But It Will Get You on the Blog" File

And the "I'm Just Going to Leave This Here and Walk Away" File

Educators Who Matter to Me

Our district is having a Twitter challenge this month, and today we were challenged to name someone who had made a difference for us.  I named my wife Kristin, because as a Special Education teacher, she demonstrates kindness and compassion with her students, their parents, and her fellow educators.  Her attitude is contagious, and aside from being an awesome wife and mother, she's an awesome teacher.  When I wanted to become a teacher, she was the kind of teacher I wanted to be.

But she is not the only educator who matters to me.  A couple years ago, I ended my first year of teaching by writing a blog called It Takes A Team.  In it, I talked about how in my first year, it was the collective work of my fellow faculty and the support of my administration that made the year successful for our school and for me.

As I read the challenge, and confounded by the 140 characters, I knew I could not do the challenge justice in a tweet.  So, here are some of the educators who made/make a difference to me.

My Mom
She taught at pretty much all levels of education, but spent most of her time as an elementary PE teacher.  She was mine, and yes, I still called her Mrs. Lehrmann.  She strove to find ways for all students to be successful in her class, even those lacking in the physical prowess.  That said, she also challenged the students, and years later, they still fondly remember and sometimes post it to Social Media how much they loved our Mickey Mousercize warm-ups each day.

My Dad
After retiring from the Highway Department, my Dad worked at a Junior High as an Instructional Aide in  what is now called an Adaptive Behavior class.  He had some kids that everyone else had written off, but he somehow connected with them.  When he passed away unexpectedly, these kids who had shunned much of their other teachers and fellow students came to his funeral.  He reached those that others could not.  This became a goal for my life.

My Uncle
Yeah, teaching is in the blood.  My Uncle Darrell, like me, came to teaching after a career in another field.  He went on to coach the softball team at my High School to great success.  He retired from coaching a couple years ago and teaching this past year.  But he still keeps the grounds of the softball field that bears his name.  It bears his name not because he won a lot of games, it bears his name because he won a lot of hearts.  His students and players and fellow educators love, respect and admire his character and work ethic.  I'll never have a field named after me, maybe a Speech team's podium or something, but he's an example to me.

Jo Ellen Dunlap
My Kindergarten teacher knew I loved Davy Crockett, so she wrote a Kindergarten graduation play for me to play him.  She taught me at 6 that finding a student's passion and stoking it, no matter how young they are, has lasting effect.

Jack Nims
My AP English teacher gave me my first failing major grade.  And in doing so, he taught me its not the grade that matters, its the journey and the questions I had to ask that matter.  He made me think, and to this day, the questions I ask my students are a little Nimsonian.

Casey Akin, Cindy Knapek and Caleb Phillips
I've worked with folks for the last year on Student Council.  They love their students, and want to see them succeed not just in the projects they plan today, but the people and citizens they will be tomorrow.  We work hard, and we laugh just as hard.  It is a lot of long hours we spent/spend together, and they are friends and inspirations.

Aaron Hogan and Jeremy Stewart
Aaron I have known for a couple years now, and Jeremy I've never met outside of Twitter.  But these guys have a vision for College Station ISD to join together on Tuesday nights to Twitter chat about all manner of educational topics.  They have inspired me to engage in class Twitter chats (that blog is STILL coming, I promise), and to challenge my fellow educators to join up.  They have helped to bring our district closer together digitally, and by extension, personally.

Chris KovacsChris was one of the teachers who interviewed me for my current position.  He kinda scared me.  I observed him teaching after hearing LOTS of cool talk, and he intimidated me with his skills.  Somewhere along the way, we ended up getting lunch.  Now we are staff development day lunch buddies.  I've learned a lot from his educational strategies and style, even if he thinks its cool to use a SWIVL training session I was conducting as a chance to call me out as a Zombie while he is practicing with the tech tool.  :)

Heather Strawn
My co-conspirator in all things Speech and Debate.  Aside from making sure our team has their hair properly combed and clothes proper for competition, she challenges our students to "go there" in their competitions.  She pushes them to their best, and models for them good sportsmanship and integrity.  She helps students find their voice with ease.

Mike Martindale, Justin Grimes, Tiffany Parkerson, Julia Mishler, Matthew Quick, Kim Rodgers, Laura Richter, Marla Ramirez
I promise I am not trying to kiss up to these guys- my current (and some former) principals/APs.
They trusted me.  As a new instructional aide and then teacher, they allowed me room to grow, and to take on challenges that I was willing to try.  They are not just "bosses," they are educational motivators and creative risk takers.  Those attitudes inspire me to strive for those roles, and I see in our campus today, and the campus I started at, that the teachers they work with are inspired, too.  They have consistently given me chances to grow as a teacher and a leader, and been voices of encouragement all along the way.

If you are a teacher, I hope you've got someone- or lots of someone's- who inspire you, challenge you, and make you grow and laugh at the same time. I am who I am because of these people, and I hope that I can inspire them in equal measure to what they have given to me.

So if you've got an educator whose made a difference in your life, let them know!

Reflections on a Class Poverty Simulation

Last week, my High School Sociology classes took part in a poverty simulation.  Now, there are lots of versions of these out there, but for our 50 minute class, I had to tweak and combine and cut and mold a new one.  It is by no means perfect, but here is my design and my reflections on the activity.

Design
Students go through a month in about 40 minutes.  They are in groups of 4-6, and are given an amount of money roughly equal to a household of their number at the poverty level.  We do round to the nearest multiple of five to keep the time consuming math at a minimum for them and me.  I found the data at the HHS website, and I then took out taxes and Affordable Care Act Health contributions.  I then cut up "bills" of paper with the monetary amounts of 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollars to pass out.  Each house has two adults aged 25, and all the rest are kids under 5.

Students must pay rent (1st week), utilities (1st week--water, electric and gas; and can choose cell phone and internet if they want), car payments (2nd week), and car insurance (final week) once a month.  Groceries and gas for the car are weekly expenses.  I did a Google search for average amounts for all these things in our area, so you could do likewise for your area and this included cost of eating out fast food and entertainment options.  Groceries were the one exception- for that I used the USDA website for a chart that showed 4 different meal rates for all ages.

The 'weeks' are not timed, they are just long enough for me to collect what they owe, and them to figure out adjustments.

Along the way, stuff happens.

The kids need clothes- $10-20 each kid.  The car breaks down- $100.  The kids get sick- $20 doctor visit per kid.

And students must choose.

Choices
-Apartments:Students can choose living arrangements:  number of bedrooms and location.  They can also choose if they want HUD housing for a little bit cheaper rate.

-Grocery plans:  Do you take the Liberal plan and eat well?  Or take the Thrifty plan and tempt hunger?

-Car or bus?:  Students begin with a car, but can sell it and buy a couple bus passes.

-Honesty:  Do they tell me, the bill collector the truth?  Or do they cut corners and cheat fate and the law?

What they did
Pretty much all the groups made the choice to sell the car before the simulation ended.  They got $500 for it, minus the $50 for the bus pass.  In one class, without selling the car, only one group would have stretched their money for the whole month.

Some students took the more expensive route with apartments and groceries.  They learned very quickly their error- they sold their car in the first week.  Grocery plans were most easily amended as we went along.  I observed a couple groups who made the choice for the parents to take the thrifty plan so that the kids could eat more.  This was cool.

At least one group chose to cut groceries out completely for a week here or there for some of the adults.

When the money ran out- they panicked.  To sell the car or not?  It was really the only option to get more money, so they took it. Some got really frustrated when the car they hung onto broke down and cost them unexpected money.

Another group kept trying to sell their kids clothes.

I had a couple students who had come in late from finishing assignments in another class.  So, they became "unexpected twins" to a family who was struggling.  They couldn't understand why getting more kids didn't equal getting more money.

One group decided to take the kids to McDonalds.  There wasn't enough money for for the whole family, so the parents went without so the kids could have something.  THEY learned something for sure.

What I think
I asked the students, "Would you have made the same choices if this were real?"  Their answers ranged from "YEAH!" to "Probably not."  They would not have been able to skimp so much on food, they would definitely choose the cheaper apartment.

When asked "COULD you have done this in real life?"  most said, "No."

My classes have a pretty wide range of socioeconomic stati.  For some, this was all too real.  For others, who fit into the Upper class of Sociology Class Structure, it was sobering.  Realizing that people actually do have to live like this made them take stock.

Some students took this very seriously, but all students seemed to have fun.  But was fun the point?  I think the fun was necessary for them to be able to take in what they were experiencing.  If it had been as miserable and as harsh as the reality of poverty often is, they would have shut down.

My students found a way to 'survive.'  They made hard choices- sometimes choices that we with the luxury of social position would call unethical.  But in the end, I truly believe my students see a part of the world that many had not encountered with fresh eyes, and open hearts.

See, I love teaching classes like this, because not only do I get to teach theories, I get to challenge my students to act as better people, to learn morality.  To learn how to care for others.

I think I would do Theodore Roosevelt proud with this lesson, as he once said:

"To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society."

My hope is that my students are in no danger of being menaces, but they are in danger of being compassionate.