Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me
You Found Me- The Fray
A couple days ago, I was driving to school when I found this song on the radio. As College Station High Schools impressive figure rose up, the rising sun behind it, giving my place of employment a shadowy, yet calming look, I began to think about what the song means for me as an educator.
See, educators are in the business of finding people. Sometimes literally. But always in a more metaphorical sense. We are tasked with discovering the ways our students learn, the barriers that keep them from that learning, and the special things our students may not even know they are capable of doing. But as educators, we are also responsible for each other, finding fellow teachers who fly under the radar but do amazing things, finding those who have skills to share, finding educators who have more to offer than meets the eye.
So, here are a few of the hidden students (and educators) we need to find.
The Hide-and-Seek
They may be shy, reserved, or just very humble. They know they have something to offer, something of their uniqueness and talent that they could share, but they don't want to. Maybe it's fear, that they are not as good as they think, that others won't appreciate them or understand them. When we find them, we catch a glimpse of something that we are not sure we really saw. A deep insight, a new method or teaching technique, a quality that is in short supply. When we see it appear again, we want to try to draw it out to see what all it entails.
The Hide-and-Seek needs gentleness and patience. If we pounce on it, we scare them back into hiding. We start small, asking them quietly off to the side a question that brings the thing we saw out again. We help them build confidence, or trust or whatever they need to share the great thing they have. The Hide-and-Seek has to learn to believe in themselves, and that journey starts with us showing that WE believe in them. There is no greater look than the one on the face of a student who shares themselves after fearing the results- and realizes they are accepted. Its a door that won't easily close again.
The Confused
These people have gotten lost along the way. They missed a lesson or a key point, and they drift away from the path. If the Confused is a teacher, maybe they have reached a crisis of faith- "How do I keep doing this? What did I do wrong?" Sometimes, the Confused is not lost in due to their work, they are dealing with issues that have shaken their worldview. A tense family situation, the loss of a trusted friend due to betrayal, the discovery of a truth that rocked their world. They bring this confusion to our classes and hallways with anxious eyes and wringing hands.
The Confused needs empathy. We feel confused and we feel alone, so we need someone to walk with us. Sitting with a student who is confused means we need to listen a lot. And really listen. That doesn't mean that we immediately try to fix it- the best way for the Confused to be found is for them to find THEMSELVES. We listen, we ask questions to guide them, and we let them have the breakthrough.
The Undiscovered
Like the Hide-and-Seek, there is something special that has not been found. But the Undiscovered may not even know it themselves. Maybe they have never been given the chance to try something, or maybe they are just beginning to explore that talent or thought.
As a Debate Coach, I spend a lot of time looking for the Undiscovereds. I notice demeanors, work ethics, vocal styles. And when I approach students who I think have an undiscovered talent, they are often surprised- and reluctant. Again, it takes patience and gentleness, but it also takes experimentation. Giving the student a chance to discover for themselves what I have seen in them. If you have built up trust with this student (or educator) then they will be willing to give it a shot. But be careful not to go too far too fast, or they become a Hide-and-Seek.
The Hopeless
Sadly, these students and teachers are too common. They have given up. Beaten down, literally and/or figuratively by life, they just do not care anymore. They act out, they don't act at all. They feel any attention- especially negative- is worth any action. They have given up on dreams, if they ever had any. They may have been the Confused once, but they were never found. They may come to us tired, hungry, poor, angry, or apathetic.
They need grace. They need compassion. They need love. And they need our time and attention- positive attention even if they do not "earn" it. They need to know that someone cares. They need to know that someone cares about them, even if they do not care about themselves. And they will break your heart. Some will be found, but others will escape us, and we will lose sight of them and they will go without rescue.
So, we must be ever vigilant for the Hopeless student...and teacher.
So, we must be ever vigilant for the Hopeless student...and teacher.
You Found Me
As the song played on my radio that morning a few days ago, and as my school loomed in view and my thoughts turned to the Lost and Hidden all around me, the process of this blog started. But it did not start with thinking about others. It started with when I was Lost.
See, I came to education at a time when I was Confused- what I thought I was going to be had gone away. I did not know where I was going or even what I was supposed to be. I was approaching Hopeless fast. I doubted myself, and my competence.
But I had some educators who found me. They encouraged, they coaxed, they gave me opportunities. They took a chance and a risk and they trusted me.
And I began to trust myself.
See, I like finding students and teachers because I know what it is to be found when I was lost. I know what it is to find a purpose when once there was not one.
Each morning, I sit in the commons of our school. It is a three story atrium, and students and teachers wind around the square structure on their way to class. I sit in the atrium during my conference because it connects me to my school. (And because another teacher floats into my room.) I watch and I talk and I try to notice my fellow humans who are playing at Hide-and-Seek, who are Confused, who are Undiscovered, and who are Hopeless. I look for them, because one day, I want to sit across from them-maybe over coffee- have a conversation about how far they have come, about how they are so glad someone gave them a chance, and hear them say to me,
"You Found Me."
